I used to think I’m all about crochet – I could teach it, be a maker, be a designer, be a pattern-writter etc. Guess what? It turned out I couldn’t.
It all started with teaching. I thought I could teach crochet – and I did teach to some people, but I was always struggling with getting people to come to my classes. I think the biggest number I could gather was 5... or 6. I knew my classes weren’t profitable for me, but I kept doing it. One time I rented a room from a store that sells handmade items, the other time – the owner just „forgot to show up” to unlock the door for me (and my students). I was so embarrased (in front of my students), and angry at this lady. So I ended up stopping cooperate with this lady at all. Then I got a chance to rent another space. But then the impossible happened – from 5 students that had signed for the class noone showed up (not even called or e-mailed). So this was my first zero point. I understood – I should stop teaching. It’s not worth my nerves and time, and I have had bad experience with that before. I was just pushing it all the time... I was thinking these were obstacles – but actually these were signs that brought me closer to what I really should be doing. And that lady actually did me a favor.
Now let’s get to how I understood I’m not a maker. Or aka - my second zero point. I mainly sell those things that are made when I write patterns or things I make for fun. And this is still working fine for me. Once I decided to take part at a local fair selling my hats (that were made with aim to be sold). Guess how many I sold? That’s right! I understood I’m not a salesperson either. I’m not good at selling things – I actually dislike it. But as that was quite a time ago (and I had already forgotten about that), I decided to make some things for pop-up Xmas store. I spent about 2 weeks and was crocheting non-stop. And yup! Exactly big fat zero was the number sold! (This hadn’t do anything with the price or dimensions of the items – prices were reasonable and items were small – fair format). So this was it for me! Another zero that led me to understanding – I won’t make crochet things that are ment for selling somewhere.
Now I know - if I would be smarter and read ALL those signs (and they were a lot; I just kept ignoring them) back then – I probably wouldn’t reach all those zero points (and feeling a lot below those zeros).
Anyway – I’m grateful for that experience that has led me a bit closer to what I REALLY am. (Or at least I am thinking I am close to figure that out). Hehe.. we’ll see about that.