Sisters and Brothers with Hooks,
This website is one of the few safe places I have to rant. The things and people bothering me are not likely to get here to read the post. In reality I know that I should face these things and people head on, but I simply do not have the strength to do it.
I fear that I am having health problems and am hesitant to see my physician. First I do not want to feel like a hypocondriac for something that may be normal. Also, I saw her a while ago as recommended before starting my exercise program because of chest pain. The woman essentially diagnosed me with big boobs. Grant you, I wear an H cup, but really? Chest pain equals that? She said the weight was pulling muscles between my rib bones causing the pain. Right. And because of an EKG, they charged me a second co-pay after the fact even though it was the same appointment. Do I really want to go there to talk to her about both knees aching to where I don't want to walk and depression? I don't want to be told that my knees and mood are in my head and to go home.
As for depression, I moved to Western Washington in 2009. I've been functional, but only highly functional when on antidepressants. I don't like taking pills and do not want to have to be on them the whole time I live here. My support circle is all in Eastern Washington with minimal contact because I don't feel like I should call them for an emotional dump nor do I want to intrude on anything scheduled.
Adding to this heap o' depression, I have been without a car since June. Mind you we are doing okay and sometimes rent a car for a treat, but I have been a driver since the age of 14 and am now 40. That is a long time being used to having a car. A complication with the car...I cannot get to the city pool and rec center from my apartment with the recent changes in bus service.
Enough whining. You get most of the idea. I cry often lately. Thank goodness I have my hooks and yarn. Yarn and Tuesday nights when I get to see a few friends that I have made here is all that is getting me through.
Hook in Hand,